Dione Bryant Williams

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It’s an Inside Job!

I’ll get right to the point: Emotional healing is absolutely an inside job! I know, because over the years I’ve experienced a multitude of emotional wounds — many self-inflicted, some having no obvious explanation, and some inflicted on me by another person’s unconsciousness or cruelty. Regardless of who or what was “at fault” for my pain, what I discovered was that I was the only one who could truly heal it. But the deeper layer of healing emerged from exploring the meaning of my suffering and taking responsibility for my healing and happiness.

It seems that the majority of us are always trying to get somewhere, whether it is to a meeting, to run an errand, to a bigger house and nicer car, to a better job or career, or to our next vacation. But you don’t often hear people talking about needing to go INSIDE – withIN themselves, to where the quiet, the peace, the possibility of making sense and their true happiness resides.

Each of us possess the ability to turn off the outside world and delve inward. Sometimes it is a physical activity, other times it is a creative project, or playing with a pet, caring for a child, a game. The key is to find your IT – that thing that takes you out of autopilot and transports you to reality — your reality. Find your IT that enables you to feel, to question, and to think. Autopilot is comfortable. It allows you to keep going, full speed. It helps your life to make sense in a superficial way. Autopilot keeps us from getting at our truth. It keeps us from the difficult conversations, from asking ourselves what we really seek in life, from asking ourselves if we are in the right relationships, in the right career, in the right chapter of our lives, or if we have somehow fallen behind or pushed ahead.

While external trappings such as a good job, a big title, a lot of money and all the trimmings that come with that can instigate a temporary high, they in no way create happiness or healing. You can live in a fancy house, drive fancy cars, have a CEO title, and outwardly look like you are living the dream, but if there is unrest inside, none of that matters. Happiness is an inside job — the external frills can only take you so far. We can all accumulate stuff, but at some point, it is no longer an answer, let alone an antidote, and it certainly does not bring joy.

Healing requires honesty with yourself, which often propels you to be honest with others. You can only fake it for so long. Doing the seemingly right thing gets old. We are a society of not wanting to disappoint others — colleagues, supervisors, spouses, children. But somehow, in pleasing everyone else, we tend to disappoint ourselves. You need to uncover what is inside of you and find your internal fuses that spark real happiness. When you find it on the inside, you will be empowered to make the changes outside of you. When you live from the inside out, anything is possible.

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