4 Pillars of Holistic Wellness | Emotional
“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”
— Iyanla Vanzant
Your feelings matter
Many of our deepest thoughts and feelings about ourselves are developed early in life and are greatly influenced by the quality of our relationships with our primary caretakers. These bonds provide us with the skills that enable healthy connections with self and others. A child that learns that their feelings matter is also learning that they matter and so do their needs, wants, dreams and desires. They feel deserving of care, respect, love, and acknowledgment because they experienced this early in life. Research shows that emotional health in childhood is a greater predictor of happiness in adult life than success and wealth. Children who are emotionally cared for are able to express their needs in a healthy way, have higher levels of self-esteem, and are able to form healthy bonds.
Individuals that did not learn healthy forms of expression, or was not allowed to express their feelings, needs, and desires, are more likely to develop feelings of worthlessness, unworthiness, rejection, abandonment, criticism, and neglect in their adult lives. Those that learned that their feelings do not matter also learned, “You are not important. You are not of value. You don’t matter.” This can result in low-self esteem, shame, inability to create healthy relationships, lack of boundaries, fear of intimacy, self-centeredness, and depression. I applaud those that did develop emotional health in childhood. However, it’s important to know that these skills can also be learned later in life. It’s never too late to build resilience and improve your emotional well-being.
Our feelings are often a result of our thoughts, both conscious and subconscious. Our emotional state influences our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Emotionally healthy adults we are better able to recover from adversity, trauma, setbacks and stress. Just as physically healthy people are better able to bounce back from illness or injury, people with good emotional health are better able to bounce back from adversity, trauma, setbacks and stress. This ability is called resilience.
As your Inner Wellness Coach, I offer tools to help you cope with difficult situations and maintain a positive outlook. As an emotionally healthy adult, you can remain focused, flexible, and productive in bad times as well as good.
NOT ONLY WILL YOU BE WELL, YOU CAN FEEL GREAT TOO!